FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE.

To: All Order of the Grand Lock Controlled Press Outlets/Metropolitan Signal Lamps
LEADERSHIP STEPS DOWN FROM GRAND LOCK OPERATIONS.
After directing the multi-headed beast that is the Order for many decades, Leadership has stepped down as of 5PM GMT on Monday, April 9th.

 

Though Leadership has steered our ship for literally longer than anyone can remember, the past month ignited a schism among Lock leaders that there was no longer any meaning to be deprived from Leadership’s strange ramblings. A vote among High Keys sealed the new fate of the Leadership. There was discussion centered around whether or not Leadership should be dragged from their secret chamber, exposing their gender/quantity/robotness, but it was ultimately decided to let sleeping dogs/dog/robot dogs lie.

 

An announcement regarding the replacement of Leadership will be delivered to all Grand Locks shortly, in the usual fashion.

 

NOTES

– This was not a coup. Should any of you attempt to misconstrue, the Punishment Department will have words with you.

– That last bullet wasn’t intentionally written as a poem, but not that bad, right?
– Until a new Leadership is selected, The Order of the Grand Lock will still be guided under the supervision of the High Keys, as outlined within The Charter. There is now power vacuum.
– And if there were, it would have already been filled by the time you would have even considered rising up to seize power, so settle down.