When the calendar flipped over from 1979 to a brand new decade, there were two questions that The Order of the Grand Lock were asking itself: “Was 1980 the start of a new decade or party of the 70s (since, after all, it still felt a lot like the 70s)?” and, “What would be the […]
Greetings Locks, Our “little” organization is reeling a bit from the revelations found withinlast week’s update, so we asked our resident historian, Pick W. Hargreave, what he was working on, and then, after he responded, if he wouldn’t mind speeding it up a little bit. It is with great pleasure, and with the hope that […]
The Order of the Grand Lock newsroom received the following email early Monday morning from the email account of former Grand Lock “Leadership.” Email header analysis suggests that the message is credible–intended for a “Secret Old Leadership Listserve” and CC’d “springles@thegrandlock.com”–likely intended for our leader Spangles (instead of Josh Springles, our newsroom mail clerk). The […]
Locks. Read below for a strange turn of events involving multiple Grand Lock Leaderships. In Fellowship, High Key (00103) From Volume 872 Issue 17 – Subscribe here, members, to be the first to get the next newsletter!
By Leadership (as interpreted by Locksmith M. Reyes, Spangles’ “Speaker of the Dog”) Good afternoon, Locks. We are approaching the one year anniversary of the ouster of the preceding Leadership which led to the campaign that (eventually) elected a little dog named Spangles (that’s me!) to the head of our beloved Order. Now, just as with […]
nuqneH, yIngaQmoH., I hope this electronic newsletter finds you well. I am pleased to report that within the digital confines of this missive you will find a report from our very own Spangles, who was feared missing, and now can be not-feared present. He is a good boy, and we should listen to what he […]
By Locksmith K. KaylinStar light, star bright good gravy it is OSCAR NIGHT. The golden gods of tinseltown descended upon the Dolby Theater for the 90th annual Academy Awards last weekend. Of course, the Order of the Grand Lock’s’ treacly tentacles were there to manipulate details great and small–from the padlock on Adam Rippon’s subligar to the […]
Welcome, Locks. Usually, The Order will provide non-Locks with some sort of distraction when things get too complicated or unfathomable for them. A celebrity scandal or political snafu. This weekend, however, it was The Locks who received a welcome distraction from our recent drama with the Guardians of the Orb, which took the form of Mister […]
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