There are decisions that are made because of logic, and there are decisions that are made for aesthetics. In 1876, The Order of the Grand Lock made a decision in England that was purely aesthetic, and though we rarely acknowledge our mistakes, we feel that just enough time has passed: we blew it. Before 1876, there […]
Wake up, please, We hope you had a lovely Holiday Pot Luck at your individual lodge. Thank you to everyone who brought in their pet birds to add some good old fashioned irony to the occasion as we ate (some) turkey and (a lot of) potatoes. One question that often rears it’s head around this […]
A Persuasive Essay by Junior Lock J. Jeremy (age 13) My phone’s dictionary defines intelligence as “the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.” For the Order of the Grand Lock, intelligence is what allows the Order of the Grand Lock to acquire the power and the skills that make it the most influential […]
Hello. Once a year it is decided by someone who outranks me that it is important to highlight the voices of the younger generation. The “Teen Beat Essay Competition” is designed for the Junior Locks among us to have the opportunity to make their voices heard. This year’s winner, J. Jeremy, wrote the least awful […]
An OOO-Yeee1 to My Fellow Locks, My name is Redford M. Cherbour, the former Loon Master2 of The Venerable Brotherhood of the All-Seeing Loon. As you saw in last week’s edition of the Locksmith Newsletter, my secret fraternal organization has been absorbed by your lovely secret organization, and I couldn’t be more excited by this merger. There is […]
Good afternoon to you All, In your Email Window where you write the Email Address, there’s a “To” section. I’ve got a handle on that. Below that there are a pair of acronyms that up until now have been useless gibberish to me. Well, today they are gibberish no longer, so I feel it is […]
Friends and allies of the Grand Lock– We are pleased to announce that Grand Lock leadership have completed negotiations on Monday morning to acquire the rival fraternal organization/secret society the Venerable Brotherhood of the All-Seeing Loon for the price of $1.2 billion Canadian dollars. Effective immediately, all “Loonie” lodge halls, memberships, and intellectual property are […]
Hello All Locks (And More!), There is an exciting announcement that is speeding your way at an alarming pace. You best prepare yourselves for it immediately as it is happening immediately after this message from myself that you are presently reading. Why waste any more of your time? Let’s get to the exciting announcement that […]
Recent Comments