This newsletter often revels in the successes of our noble order. It’s important though, especially on this, the 29th anniversary of the Beach Boys’ album “Still Cruisin’,” to remember our greatest failures. The year was 1986 and the Grand Lock’s song writing robot TUNIVAC had gone through a controversial re-engineering. Rather than writing hit songs, […]
Aloha Locks, Once a season a Lock, usually a younger one in their mid-forties, will ask me if we spend Lock dues on political interests. It’s a fair question which, I believe, comes with a fair answer. That answer is yes. Absolutely. Of course we do. We’ve installed and maintained Shadow President P. Mindon.Yeah. A lot […]
By Locksmith K.E. McSalvewin, Reporter for hotel staple, Lock News Today Horse Day 2018 has come and gone, as you already know, because everyone in our Illustrious Order was present without exception. You obviously do not require any kind of recap or run-down of the day’s events or the activities that transpired because you wouldn’t be […]
Howdy Locks, Wow. It’s all I can say. Another year, another successful Horse Day. Congratulations to every Lock who helped pull Horse Day 2018 off and made it everything we could ever dream it to be. We are now at the furthest point from Horse Day 2019, but the good news is, it’s only going to […]
By Key F. Huber, Secretary of TransportationThis modern world is a fanged beast that devours the rights of the sovereign. Aye, the Grand Lock holds the whips and keeps the beast at bay but the beast must be fed. Every day we lose our freedoms, our sovereignty. Every day, freedom dies screaming in the darkness. Well I say NO. […]
Xin chào Khóa, I speak for the whole of all High Keys when I say, “hope you’re doing well.” One of our Tumblers, J. Davenplatt, has a daughter who is doing a little fundraising and our Order likes to foster enterprising youth whenever possible. If you would like to purchase any homemade t-shirts that have […]
By Key J. Brel, Environmental Secretary Residents of North America may have noted an increased population of culex pipiens, AKA the common “house mosquito” over the last few months. Indeed, internal studies have found mosquito populations observed at nearly 240% over 2017’s numbers. Unfortunately, this increase in mosquito activity is definitely the fault of us, the […]
Recent Comments