As a Member of The Order of the Grand Lock, we want you to know that we are committed to protecting Your privacy and data.1 As of May 25th, 20182 , we have updated our Privacy Policy.3 This has been done to comply with the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR)4 , passed by the European Union.5 We believe all of […]
By Tumbler B. Chesney[LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Tumbler Chesney is the oldest living member of the Grand Lock and a lifelong vitamin enthusiast–though not necessarily a certified medical professional. We present this column as an invitation to a journey of wellness, not as medical advice.]Immortality is at hand. We mortals plod through a spiritual and nutritional gloaming, relying on […]
Salutations, With Horse Day 2018 fast approaching, a few reminders that will make this year’s experience a fun one for horse and human alike. If you have your own horse that you plan on engaging for Horse Day, lay claim now before he or she is swept up by another Lock! Get your socks together! Remember: unmatched […]
By Baron P.D. Chewstrop Believe it or not, it has been nearly 37 months since the last edition of my column. I’ve heard many claims over the years that the theatre has died, but when it takes nearly three years for me to accumulate enough performances to fill my column inches, perhaps it is time […]
Hello Locks, No Lock scientist has ever been able to determine why exactly this is, but we as a group are somehow genetically predisposed to allergies in the springtime. We are a diverse group with a constantly changing roster, so some theorize that a diet that hinges so heavily on potatoes might activate a latent […]
Grand Lock dignitaries, high keys, and members of the press gathered Sunday night at the Secret Castle beneath the skating rink in Van Nuys for the annual State of the Grand Lock union. This was the first address and public appearance of the new Grand Lock leadership, composed of a democratically elected leader/dog Spangles, his […]
Corrections Infrequently, we here at the Locksmith Newsletter make a mistake that makes it to publication. Even more infrequently, we acknowledge these mistakes. In a 1998 edition of the Locksmith Newsletter we described the British children’s book Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Store as “childish pap, suitable only for the very young, or very, very […]
Happy May, We are dangerously close to spring weather here, so allow me to quickly remind everyone that you may not wear your white ceremonial robes to Order functions until midway through the month. On the first of June we will be having our Potato and Barbecue Potluck, so please disregard that instruction; instead wear […]
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