by Locksmith K. Kaylin (30155) The “Life Day” celebrated by Wookiees on the planet of Kashyyyk (as seen in the Star Wars Holiday Special) is loosely based on The Order of the Grand Lock’s Horse Day. Similarities include eating ice cream, singing songs, and watching strange comedy performances by Harvey Korman. During the famous asteroid chase in The Empire Strikes Back, a […]
Good afternoon Locks, Because the emails have not ceased let me begin by addressing the subject line of last week’s Locksmith Newsletter. Ques. Why did last week’s subject line begin with “Subject Line?” Ans. Right. That was a copy and paste error, plain and simple. It was most assuredly not any of the following: A coded message An ironic […]
by Pick W. Hargreave (No. 48324) In 1920, Prohibition came to the United States like a scourge, bringing with it the earliest traces of organized crime, creative uses for bathtubs, and a massive uptick in insurance claims concerning barrels. For a Grand Lock living during this time, however, things weren’t all that different. Unless, that […]
Hello to you, We hope that if you were able to see the eclipse yesterday that it found you in good health. We have scheduled the next one for America in April of 2024, which we hope you will find similarly pleasing, unless you happened to look at this one with your naked eyes. This […]
By Locksmith K. Kaylin (30155) GUESS WHO’S BACK? That’s right–it’s Key Z.Z. Gabor f.k.a. “Princess Zsa Zsa” the Hungarian honeysuckle, unveiled Saturday night in her centenarian debutante grand actualization ball in the secret Grand Lock castle beneath the skating rink in Van Nuys. Gabor was a vision in chiffon in a strappy Von Furstenburg gown accented by a family of live stoats scampering through […]
Good afternoon or evening to you, Locks. We hope that you continue to “beat” the heat as summer roils forward. Whether you’re enjoying a sunny beach in Milan or enjoying the Total Solar Eclipse our Order is providing to North America, make the waning days of summer ones to remember. A quick reminder regarding the […]
It is in the nature of our order to question everything. Established in 1852, it is in the nature of the Grand Lock Advisory Council to answer everything. You’ve got questions, we have the authority to invent answers. I very recently joined The Order and feel a little out of place. I am the youngest […]
Welcome, Locks. I recognize that this space is ordinarily used to express a view on recent or upcoming events within the world of The Order from the perspective of a high-ranking individual within said Order. However, today I must break out of this structure, oh so briefly: Have you guys tried miniature pizza bagels? My […]
by Cub Reporter Locksmith M. Hoshport (88832) In an effort to curry favor with our many Members of the Order, the Candidates for Leadership have taken to the trail. From time to time, we will check in with our six Candidates as they travel across the globe from Lodge to Lodge. July 12 – Lodge […]
Hello Locks both Near and Far, Welcome to August! As we near Labor Day, please take this opportunity to wear your white suits as many times as possible. Remember: after Labor Day you can be excommunicated from The Order for the wearing of a white suit. How long before Labor Day are you allowed to […]
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