After months of campaigning and weeks of general electoral chaos, the Grand Lock has new leadership and its a dog named Spangles. As Spangles’ campaign office has repeatedly pointed out, there’s no rule that says a dog can’t be leadership. Locksmith M. Reyes, Spangles’ handler and self-appointed “Speaker of the Dog” appeared on stage with […]
by New Cub Reporter Locksmith K. Appleblack (93332) The good news: By the time you’re reading this, the Leadership Campaign has been settled. The bad news: It has taken several weeks longer than anticipated, a racist ship explosion, and my predecessor being driven insane to get there. After word got out about the non-existence of Candidate Dorsey last Tuesday, two […]
Locks, It’s- It’s been a long month. I could tell you more, but I’m just going to let the newsletter do its job. If you need me I’m spending the next three days at the famed Cicero, Illinois Grand Lock Lodge and Luxury Spa. In Fellowship, High Key (00103) From Volume 872 Issue 1 – Subscribe here, […]
by Cub Reporter Locksmith M. Hoshport (88832) The following article is presented unmodified and without commentary as it was submitted by M. Hoshport. The Grand Lock Newsletter acknowledges that any similarities to the series finale of “The Prisoner” are purely coincidental. Monday 11/13/2017 On Monday morning, yellow smoke plumed from the Grand Temple in Washington […]
Hello Locks, So. Thank you for your continued patience. Since our last update concerning the Leadership Election, I am pleased to tell you we have made great strides in finally naming a victor in this campaign. I am less pleased to tell you that after naming a victor things went… rather sideways. You know what? My plate […]
by Cub Reporter Locksmith M. Hoshport (88832) Since Election Day last week, there have been a number of events that have unfolded, but from this reporter’s perspective, there are far more that appear to be currently folded, simply waiting for our guard to fall before they too unfold. Here is a timeline of said events […]
Attention Locks, To begin, thank you for your patience. If this Newsletter is your only source of information about the Order, it is entirely possible that news of our Leadership’s Election has not reached you. If that is the case, please read on and do not panic. When the previous Leadership amicably stepped down, the High Keys […]
Leadership Election Day is here at last and Grand Locks everywhere are heading to their home lodges to complete the Election Day process. First they must climb the voting ladders (oak, because the year ends in a prime number) and deposit their voting marbles into the voting chutes of their candidates of choice. These marbles […]
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