Hello, all ye Members of the Order. Here’s a quick, free “lifehack” for everyone: when confronted with an officer of the law who is unfamiliar with The Gesture or any other Grand Lock signals you might communicate, try bribing them. It really, really works!

Get ready for a journey across the globe as our cub reporter Locksmith M. Hoshport follows our many candidates from stop to stop so you don’t have to. Expect a variety of updates over the weeks to come as we quickly approach a historic election so important that it may cause the normally fastidious writer to forget when to use “a” or “an!”

From Volume 871 Issue 26 – Subscribe here, members, to be the first to get the next newsletter!