Bird Cage Welder
Bird Night is an honored tradition with The Order, and unfortunately, a tradition within the hallowed evening seems to be that at least one bird escapes due to a member saving some pennies and buying an inferior bird container. As Bird Cage Welder, you’ll be there to restore cages to working condition on the spot. MUST be tolerant of/resistant to talons, own goggles, and have a repertoire of bird-soothing noises.

Peeler
It wouldn’t be a Grand Lock Potluck without a superfluous number of Potato-Based Dishes. From time to time, an absent-minded/senile Member will forget to bring a dish, and if they are of the rank Tumbler or above, we will provide them with a dish to “bring,” lest they seem a common mooch. As Peeler, you would be responsible for removing the skins from the potatoes. (Our on-site chefs will take it from there.) MUST not have potato allergy, very calloused fingers, be proficient in eye-removal (vegetable preferred).

Light Filing
The Order of the Grand Lock accumulates a vast assortment of compromising material on all of its members. With thousands of members, many of whom who are constantly doing compromising things, it can be difficult to sort through all of this material when it is needed. Enter: YOU?! MUST know the alphabet, be able to keep a secret, be tolerant of/resistant to talons.

Editorial Writer
We recently lost an Editorial Writer after he was struck with a bad case of running his mouth, but that could be great news for you! Do you have opinions? Would you like to share them? Will they be critical of those who have significantly more power than you? If you answered “yes” to the two questions you were clearly supposed to say “yes” to, you might be our next Editorial Writer!

TUNIVAC Monitor
TUNIVAC is a Song Writing Computer that has been owned and maintained by The Order since the early 1930s. From time to time, TUNIVAC will activate itself and produce an original song whether it be “Jungle Boogie” or the entire catalog of Pitbull. As TUNIVAC’s Monitor, your duties will include, replacing hundreds of vacuum tubes, assigning original songs to our stable or artists, and attempting to explain human emotions to an ageless automaton. (Please note: TUNIVAC can beautifully capture love in song but does not understand it and will ask you why it exists frequently.)