Welcome, Locks.
Usually, The Order will provide non-Locks with some sort of distraction when things get too complicated or unfathomable for them. A celebrity scandal or political snafu. This weekend, however, it was The Locks who received a welcome distraction from our recent drama with the Guardians of the Orb, which took the form of Mister Oscar.

Additionally, if anyone has a direct line to our Leadership’s Speaker of the Dog, please tell him to get in touch. We have some questions, and he may have changed his number (or is just screening).