This is truly my favorite time of year for television! January! When the Grand Lock-subsidized public channel (the only television worth watching, in my book) premiere their new mystery programs!

Generally, I’m not one for fictional television shows; I much prefer the enriching variety. As I’ve stated in each installment of “The Recapables,” I despise television, but love recapping things. And since my book recaps were categorized as both “just summaries” and “too long for print”, I feel most fortunate that I am able to find the occasional respite from such insipid programs as The Great American Mate-Off or what have you.

The Puzzle Vexes is my favorite of all mystery programs because they are based on the books of famed thrilless Tumbler M. Sotherby. This import from across the pond has been running, can you believe it, for 19 seasons now, with each one running for four episodes. In this year’s premiere, entitled “Murder of a Most Unsuspecting Suspect,” Detective Marguerite McFadden and her lovable sidekick Vicar Melvin find themselves knee-deep in manslaughter.

As with every episode of TPV, this episode begins in the fictional, sleepy hamlet of Quellshire, as Marguerite and Melvin attempt to read the newspaper, but are unable to do so due to the private detective’s private secretary, Mr. Plindle, and his loud telephone conversation. I’m sure you can imagine their looks of consternation, but don’t worry– It’s all played for laughs.

Suddenly they are interrupted by inept local police constable Dungoody, who informs them that there’s been a murder at the local clerk’s office. Together they speed to the scene of the crime in a car so old that it completely muddles what time period the TV show is set, which provides ample time for a ceremonial exposition exchange. We learn that all signs point to suicide, which causes the Vicar to gasp and cross himself, and yet… this young woman recently signed a pledge at University in which she promised that she would never kill herself. (There had been a rash of mysteries that were explained as suicides in Series 14, so the writers took great pains to reassure their angry fans that they would no longer use this crutch.)

Upon arrival at the victim’s house we discover that this was the fiance of the local handyman, a beloved side character on the program. We are told that officers are already en route to his fix-it shop to break the news. The body is untouched, and we, the audience, are told that the young woman has been the victim of a gunshot. (We, the audience, need to be told this as, just like with every murder on the show, there is absolutely no blood or visible wound.)

The remainder of the episode is spent exploring leads, interacting with the local colo(u)r, and discussing the case over scones. As always, I like my mysteries like I like my slippers: cozy. There’s a red herring (of course), a slip-up from the Vicar, a sudden clue reveal that locks things in for Marguerite, and the big, satisfying reveal inside the detective’s cottage, which I wouldn’t dare spoil here!

I’ll instead spoil it here: it was the fiancé, the local handyman! He was trying to fix the dumb waiter of his betrothed, fell inside of it, causing it to plummet to the kitchen, and fearing that word would get out and his fix-it shop would be shuddered, he murdered the only present witness (though he didn’t know it was his future wife in the moment). Ultimately, all parties agree that living with the guilt of this murder would be punishment enough, especially since they had all signed pledges that they would never die at their own hand, ensuring that he would be guaranteed a lifetime of torment. (Plus, the handyman is a fan favorite character, so there’s no way they’d write him off the show!)

All in all, it was quite the daring move, bringing flat, B-level characters into the plot and forever staining their once comical appearances on the program by turning them into murderers. Was it a good move? Time will tell, but if I had to guess, I would predict series 20 opens with all tertiary characters signing pledges that they will never commit any major crimes, henceforth!

STRAY OBSERVATIONS

• Who was the secretary talking to? Why was this never addressed?
• The calculator that the Vicar uses indicates that the show is set in at least the 1980s. But then, why does everyone still use gramophones? Is that a British thing?
• Where does Marguerite get her income from? No one ever pays her. She seems to only solve crimes. Will they finally address this this season?