By High Key (No.00103)

Last last year, when The Order of the Grand Lock acquired the Canadian secret society, The Venerable Brotherhood of the All-Seeing Loon, into our ranks, we wanted to ensure that the transition of our Canadian members would be a smooth one. This precipitated several meetings with then-Loon Master Redford M. Cherbour (now Junior Locksmith R. Cherbour) to discuss what would make this process as easy as possible.

One edict from Cherbour came through loud and clear: let the former Loons celebrate The Feast of the Great Bird’s Reemergence.

For those Locks we are not former Loons, The Feast was the most important day in the Loon calendar: according to legend, it marks the day that the mascot that resided in the pond built within the first Loon Temple dove beneath the water and reemerged, gracefully, for the first time. It represented rebirth, renewal, and a reverence for nature, reminding Loons that all they needed could be found in the out of doors.

To put it another way, it was kind of like our New Year’s.

We certainly want our new members to conform and enjoy being Locks, but we also want them to want to do that, lest they defect to our rival secret organization, The Guardians of the Orb. As such, Leadership has decided that all Locks will celebrate this sacred Loon day, now under a new name: The Feast of the Grand Lock.

On the whole, the celebration will remain the same. Food will still be served. Party hats will be provided. Robes will be required for entry. Beyond that, it’s merely minor tweaks that have been made to align the proceedings with the way our Order “does things.”

For example, rather than chanting “OOO-Yeee, OOO-Yeee!” at the beginning of the evening, we will respectfully recite the motto of the Locks and applaud politely. The “Dance and Take Flight Dance” has been replaced by the far more tasteful “Grand Lock Waltz,” which has kind of been out of fashion since the 1920s, so it’ll be new for many of us. The “Loon Plumage Cabaret and Costume Showcase” that normally would close out each feast has not been replaced by anything. It has been completely omitted because it sounded like nobody wanted to dress up for that.

I don’t need to tell you that the Loon assimilation is an Ongoing Process and there will be further bumps in the road before we get to the newly paved, smooth section of highway. Until we do, we thank you all for your patience as we come together under the same Grand Roof.

And remember: attendance at The Feast of the Grand Lock is mandatory.

In Fellowship,
High Key (No.00103)

By Junior Locksmith R. Cherbour

I am told that it is most irregular for a Junior Locksmith to be allowed to appear in the Locksmith newsletter, let alone read a message penned by a High Key. Allow me to begin by humbly thanking The Order of the Grand Lock for the honor.

I wanted to take a moment to speak with any and all former Loons. We have heard a few stray reports that some recent Grand Lock meetings have gone less than stellar as some Loons have clung to past traditions and disrupted several evenings worth of meetings. Reports of these disruptions have been widespread, but the closer you get to the Canadian border, the more chaotic it seems the Lodges have gotten.

Patience. Though you are no longer Loons, many if not all of the tenants we held on to beneath that banner still are respected and embraced by the Locks. Look how they’re bringing in our Feast Day! Sure it’s a new name, and maybe there won’t be a cool costume contest, but they certainly didn’t have to do that.

I ask for calm. I ask you to stop yelling “OOO-Yeee!” to interrupt Lodge meetings. I ask that you stop wearing your Loon sashes beneath your Lock robes (I don’t know how they know, but they know).

This is the only way that we can unite as one body; as one Order of the Grand Lock.

It is also the only way that I will be allowed to achieve any rank above Junior Locksmith. I am by far the oldest attendee at any of my meetings by several decades and I really don’t like it.

In fellowship,

Junior Locksmith R. Cherbour