Greetings Locks, Some business first: If you live in the Northeast United States, Leadership has dictated that you may wear the thicker post-Actual New Years’ robes to the lodge effective this week if you are looking for warmer togs. With this in mind, please remember that Actual New Years’ Eve falls on January 12th. We […]

A happy Mid-Holiday season to You We hope that whatever traditions you and your family celebrate at this time of year are going well. For our part, we wish you a lovely winter, and must remind you not to get swept up in all the hoopla of December 31st. As you are certainly aware, within […]

Happy December to All Locks, A quick apology to all Grand Lock parents out there: if you are using the Grand Lock edition of the Elf on a Shelf, there was an incident on the 17th that may have caused the listening device embedded in your elf to stop transmitting and begin broadcasting live audio […]

你好大锁, Take a deep breath in. Smell that? That is normalcy. Last week we Locks experience the tradition of Off-White Friday we get the greatest shopping deals of the year. (I bought a soundbar.) The Grand Lock Employee Holiday Party was this weekend and a fine time was had by all who chose not to drink to […]

A Wonderful Afternoon to You All, I am fresh (and rested) from my days at the famed Cicero, Illinois Grand Lock Lodge and Luxury Spa. The Leadership… debacle has been cleared (You’re doing great, Spangles! Good job!), and a sense of normalcy is at last returning to the Order. And with normalcy, of course, comes […]

Locks, It’s- It’s been a long month. I could tell you more, but I’m just going to let the newsletter do its job. If you need me I’m spending the next three days at the famed Cicero, Illinois Grand Lock Lodge and Luxury Spa. In Fellowship, High Key (00103) From Volume 872 Issue 1 – Subscribe here, […]

Hello Locks, So. Thank you for your continued patience. Since our last update concerning the Leadership Election, I am pleased to tell you we have made great strides in finally naming a victor in this campaign. I am less pleased to tell you that after naming a victor things went… rather sideways. You know what? My plate […]

Attention Locks, To begin, thank you for your patience. If this Newsletter is your only source of information about the Order, it is entirely possible that news of our Leadership’s Election has not reached you. If that is the case, please read on and do not panic. When the previous Leadership amicably stepped down, the High Keys […]

Hello Locks, A very happy and moderately spooky All Halowe’en to all of you. Enjoy dressing up in costume in the adults’ unending quest to steal the holiday away from children. As you are no doubt aware, this is the final week before The Leadership Campaign Coverage officially becomes The Leadership Campaign Election Coverage. We are now only a […]

Hello Locks! When next we speak, it will be All Hallowe’en. Read below and you’ll find yourself fully prepared for the apparel element of the holiday, but we also have a handful of miscellaneous tips to ensure you’re fully prepared. Make sure you have enough Zagnuts: the prefered candy of The Order of the Grand […]