Hello to all members great and small. Before we jump into a profile on one of our Order’s more interesting members, a quick question: does your tap water taste different lately? If the answer is “yes,” we have a problem. We’ve been tinkering with the chemicals in our nation’s water supply, mostly to cater to […]

Good afternoon or evening to you, Locks. The Order of the Grand Lock takes a deep interest in each and every one of our Member’s health, and an even deeper interest in our Member’s Bodily Intakes. However, it is only on very special occasions, as in today’s Vitamin Corner, that we are able to marry […]

Hello Hallowed Members, Say, are you interested in turning the time you spend at the Grand Lock’s various functions and lodges into cold, hard cash? Well, we may very well have the answer, and a way to earn maximum appreciation and minimum wage! It’s time for The Order of the Grand Lock Job Fair! But […]

Welcome to the latest edition of the Locksmith newsletter. We hope that you are finding ways to remain cool whether that be your geographic location or the chilled sensation of recycled air. I will keep my remarks brief as this particular installment of the newsletter is packed to the rafter with tips to keep your […]

Good Tuesday to You. I trust we all had a productive and entertaining Horse Day. In the spirit of 2017 being The Year of The Order of the Grand Lock’s Technological Awakening, we are attempting something new and electronic. We humbly request to “crowdsource” from the “hive mind” any of your Horse Day 2017 Memories from this year’s celebration. Kindly forward […]

Welcome, Locks of all ranks and locations. It is time for your weekly update. Open wide. It is almost impossible to believe that it is very nearly June. Of course, we all must believe it, for the Gregorian measurement of time tells us it is so, and The Order of the Grand Lock would never […]

Good afternoon, Locks and Keys. We continue to maintain our trajectory as we swing forward into Campaign Season. The Order of the Grand Lock seeks a bold new Leadership, and as we did last week, this week we bring you a variety of dispatches from the Campaign Trail! Before we dive in, however, a brief respite […]

Hello, all ye Members of the Order. Here’s a quick, free “lifehack” for everyone: when confronted with an officer of the law who is unfamiliar with The Gesture or any other Grand Lock signals you might communicate, try bribing them. It really, really works! Get ready for a journey across the globe as our cub […]

Welcome, Locks. I would just like to issue a great big thank you to all of you who attended the various Grand Lock talent shows hosted at each of our outposts across the world. I am told that there were a number of amazing acts, ranging from juggling, to tap dancing, to on-stage computer programming, […]