Good afternoon or evening to you, Locks. Should you be reading this in the morning, please drink your coffee so you are at your most alert before continuing. We shall wait. We take a break from Campaign Season to further our efforts to keep all Members of the Order of the Grand Lock alive for as […]

And so, for the first time in we literally don’t know how long, The Order of the Grand Lock is entering Campaign Season. Last week we introduced you to our first three candidates who are in the running to succeed the “retired” Leadership as the New Leadership of our Order. This week we conclude our […]

Hello Locks. As you are no doubt aware, our Sacred Order is going fine and nothing is wrong. We have ousted our failing Leadership in a definite not-coup, and we are all the better for it. In a sign of our organizational skills, and to signal (not that you needed it) that things are so […]

Hello, Locks. I, perhaps foolishly, believed that we had settled this whole mess that’s been playing out with Leadership. It would seem that I had that wrong. What will follow after my introductory letter is the press release that has just been dispatched to the proper outlets. I didn’t want to waste time by summarizing […]

Good afternoon to you, Brothers and Sisters of the Order. I hope that you all sucessfully avoided becoming someone’s fool this April 1st. Remember: those who join the Order of the Grand Lock must strive to stamp out foolishness within our ranks, and encourage it in those on the outside. Faxing black construction paper to […]

Hello, Locks. It would appear that some of the drama from the past fewweeks may finally be settling down, allowing us to focus on the future and forge new Secret Empires as The Order of the Grand Lock. To help us focus on the future, we look today to the past, with a very special […]

Hello, fellow members. “They” always say that March is “in like a lion” and out like a lamb. Well, within The Grand Lock it would appear that we are firmly in the lion phase. Last week’s message from Leadership seems to have divided our ranks to some degree. Some of you though it was more […]

Hello, members, hello. A hearty “The Gesture” to you. Non-members, you are not reading this. I certainly don’t need to tell you that there are many levels of power within The Order. And by “don’t need” I of course mean “am unable.” I am one of your High Keys, and there are several direct, regional, […]

Hello Fellow Locks. Welcome to this week’s Locksmith Newsletter. As we remind you frequently, you are all equal cogs in the grand mechanism that is The Grand Lock. Without each and every one of you, we do not function, and if we do not function, nations fall, economies crumble, and all the good TV shows […]

Good Tuesday to You. I wouldn’t usually use my platform here at the opening of our newsletter to settle such a petty dispute, as i am about to, but on the other hand, it is in completely in character for me. In each of the lodges we have delicious coffee available. The transaction that has […]